Fear

Today I am fighting fear.

Fear that the weight won't come off.  I am stuck and the scale doesn't seem to be moving.  The progress seems to be slow.  I went to a support group meeting last week.  Someone there who had surgery after me has already lost 50 pounds! While I think that is wonderful, it certainly isn't the case for me.

Fear that I will blow this.  My hunger is beginning to return and I want to eat more often.  I am only supposed to be eating three meals a day with MAYBE one snack. I am afraid my old habits of wanting to graze all the time is returning.

Fear that I will make the wrong choices with the food I am eating.  Whether that food will stay down or is just a plain wrong choice. 

Fear of how I am going to do on the cruise I am going on next week with my best friend.  (Maybe it will be a good thing to not have my scale with me at all.)

Fear is not a good thing.  I am putting things in place to combat this fear.  I signed up for Fitness Pal this morning on my Android.  That way I can track what I am eating.  If things continue to stagnate I will take it to my doctor's office and have a chat.

The cruise will be what it is.  No scale, like I said, can be a good thing. I will be more active with excursions than just my regular day to day walking.  I will have my best friend for support.  She is absolutely wonderful in that department.  She will also tell me like it is if I need to have a kick in the pants.  No letting it off easy for this girl.

Of course, the first thing I should do is turn to God. Pray and be still in His presence.  He will give me what I need as well. So why is this the last thing I am writing when it should have been the first?  When will I ever learn.